is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I want to be your penis for a week.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
