Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
How's work?
Spinning.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
that may or may not have been my penis.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
