Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
