I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
