Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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