The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
