yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize