I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
