your thong is hanging out like whoa
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
