just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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