he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
