i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
