I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
