i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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