I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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