i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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