Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Even my vagina gasped.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize