I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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