mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
