Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize