well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
