bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
