I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
