She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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