you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize