Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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