Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
