So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I wish there were birth control emojis
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
