I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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