I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
