rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
