There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
