I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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