my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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