Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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