i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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