I wanna bring you to show and tell
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
