She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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