Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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