ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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