i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
