I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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