i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
