just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
