Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
