JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Randomize
