awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You left your phone here
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