Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
