I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
