There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
