every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
