Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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