only you would photoshop your dick
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
