i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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