The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
