Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
