so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize