How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
